Dagnabit!

[adinva]

That's what I thought too - it was probably a minor thing to him and he was trying not to bug you. (oops that was a pun!)

I think all of our situations create bureaucracy that borders on pettiness - setting up appointments, drawing boundaries, etc, with someone who used to share our home, bed, and toothbrush (maybe for some of us).

What was the intent of the original boundary? To keep him from showing up at odd times taking this and that? In that case it doesn't seem like he broke the intent of the boundary with this one request via your son. Was the intent of the boundary to prevent loss of property without your being aware of it? (If you have sons around I can't imagine you're not used to property moving around and going missing...)

I believe in having boundaries to protect yourself as needed, but more so in being flexible and giving the benefit of the doubt.

I think you feel sensitive about seeming petty, and that's your goodwill fighting against your rule-enforcer. Unless he's really abusing your goodwill, I'd let the rule-enforcer relax.\

My 2 cents.

Also, I'm a canoe fan.