If it's the petty side of things, technically you asked him to arrange with you if he was going to come to the house to take things (versus arranging with you if things were going to be removed).

I would imagine he interpreted that to mean that you didn't want him showing up unannounced versus caring that tools were missing, so he probably feels that by asking your son to grab something for him he was actually respecting your boundary.

If he feels it was "his" stuff that your son was retrieving, and he didn't actually come himself to get it, then "no harm no foul" right?

I can see his side of it, he needed the tool and this felt like a respectful way to get it without crossing your line.

Accuray

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015