In hindsight, the reason had to do with her passive aggressive behavior over our friction over her perceived imbalance in the household chores, including general tasks for taking care of the kids (e.g., making lunches). I found this peculiar as I've spent most of our M freeing her of obligations (e.g., hiring someone to clean the house regularly, doing all the cooking, doing the bulk of the dishes to just be able to cook, etc).
In other words, I thought there was a balance where I was doing 50% of the chores while going to school full time and simultaneously working part-time, while she had no job or other responsibilities. I definitely felt and still feel an utter lack of gratitude for my contributions, as if I'm reduced to a nuisance (e.g., sex, interaction) or a convenience (e.g., do her chores for her).
That's amazing! I have a difficult time understanding why you thought you were suppose to do half of the chores even though she was a SAHM. Did you see your dad doing that when you were growing up?
I wonder if she thought she could not please you with how she kept house, cooked, etc. You did everything, taking all responsibility from her. Instead of her appreciating it, she may have resented it and thought you had no confidence in her abilities.
Another thought is that some people have a hard time respecting the one who does everything for them. Kind of like a spoiled child whose parents never make him do anything. When the kid grows up, he is terrible! He thinks others should do his work for him b/c he was never made to do it. I have actually known women who had H's that were like you, and the women had no sexual attraction for them and did not respect them.
Congrats on going 30 days without drinking! Do you have a support group or going to AA?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
