This morning was the usual start to the morning but as usual that's when things happen with W. Do you remember in school days when you would get to school early, and it was kind of like a mini recess? That's what it's like in our house in the morning for me and kids, usually pretty upbeat. S13 had backed up the line for the bathroom so D21 and me where waiting, and then S21 and we were all excited telling each other about who did what last night, checking out D21's new hair color, comparing Game of Thrones notes, laughing, just like it used to be in school. I think it got to W.
I saw her drive away, and just before I left I saw her back and in the driveway. I was ready to leave and I saw her face, and she was very sad, even for her usual state. So I went over to see if there was anything I could do and she started hysterically crying. So I just let her fall into me and just let it all out. I eventually asked what was wrong and she said she has to get out of here, move out. In my mind I was thinking and feeling that is the right thing. She's got to do something with her life. I asked if something had happened to bring this on today and she "nothing" and "everything". She said she has "f"'ed up her whole life, and hurt me and the kids beyond repair and can see how far removed from us she has become or we from her. Even though that is completely true I didn't want to say anything to hammer her even more than her own realization has. So i just said to her anything she does going forward is a choice, she can choose anything different beyond this and that maybe all of this was necessary but going forward she can still choose a better existance than this. She let it out for about a half hour. I said do you want me to stay here to talk or anything. She said no she's good.
