I am just over 3 months post WAH, and from what I have read 3.5 years post Bomb #1. WAH (12/10/11) was basically Bomb #3. Of course, like most, I did everything wrong, and continued to do that for the better part of the past 3 months. My husband filed on 3/5/12, I was served on 3/19, and saw my attorney to prepare response last week. The scariest, and possibly most hopeful, thing I have recognized is that my husband is definitely in the midst of an MLC. He is full blown in "replay" mode right, and based on the symptoms and history, he started that some time in 2010. I would say one trigger was his father's death in 2007, definitely some unresolved family issues, and then some serious financial problems in the past 1.5-2 years - and BOOM! WAH. I do mean Walk AWAY. He's checked out on everything in our lives - daughter, pets, house, yard, marriage - EVERYTHING.
I have very recently, and unknowingly, started the "last resort". Now that I have read this, as well as the 180, I am going to do my best to stick to it.
I noticed a comment on another newcomer's story of "Divorce = space". Is this really true you think? Even if they have actually filed for divorce? Do you really think this could still possibly be just a drastic move to get the space they were not receiving? I wouldn't say that I didn't give him physical space - he moved out for Pete's sake. But, whenever we communicated, I spent that time trying to reason with him, trying to understand what in the HECK was going on, crying, begging, apologizing ad nauseum, and turned everything into a talk about our relationship.
I have ordered DR which should come this week. I guess I really would love to hear that if I back off, give him some actual space - physical and emotional - that maybe he will at least put a halt to the divorce proceedings until clearer heads can prevail - even it all ends up the same anyhow.
