Keeping the Kids Out of It

[PrincessP]

The birthday weekend for our officially D4 was up and down. She really only wanted to be with Mommy and Daddy and that’s what I wanted to give her. At one point H asked if he could take D4 out to see her aunts and cousins. I gave a measured “no, this is a special weekend for us.” H is taking D4 away next weekend so she can see her grandmother who is coming to town (staying at SIL’s.)

H was not his best this weekend. I guess that I was expecting more from him since “he loves D4 more than anything.” I know he had a long rough week at work but that is no excuse to nap during visits. Yes, folks H naps when comes to the house. It doesn’t happen every time, mostly on weekends.

I was naughty this weekend. I had a chance to get my hands on information and confirmed there is definitely a OW. H lives with her now, and has been since last month some time I would guess because I have yet to see a rent charge for his own place. H must have met her some time ago because the address I found was the same one he had a parking violation for in January. So H lied to my therapist when he had a session with her in February and said he was not involved with anyone...I’m not that stupid, dear. I would be curious to know if H will bring OW with him and D4 to weekend visiting with mom, sisters, and other family. Might raise an eyebrow or two from his proper Midwestern WASP family.

Not that this serves any purpose, but for the macabre out there, OW is twelve years younger than me and of course Asian. He likes the ladies from that continent (heck, I’m from that continent.) OW is totally infatuated with my H; their text message exchanges read like notes you pass to your GF/BF in high school. She has no baggage so no wonder she is appealing. She probably got tired of waiting for my H Friday night and Saturday since he was spending it with D4 (and me) – hello, it is our child’s birthday. H didn’t come at all yesterday, some lame excuse about work taking longer than he wanted it to. Right, again I am not stupid, dear.

Oh, everyone will like this one. Another bit of information I found was that our MC, from a year ago who we only saw for barely six months, apparently told H during an individual session (we both had two individual sessions each) that “you need to get out of this M, what are you doing with your W?” Really? MC tell people who are there for therapy “to get out?” MCs want to make money; it is their business to drag out the C process for as long as possible so they can make money. Why would any MC tell a spouse at practically the outset of C to “get out now?” H heard what he wanted. H wanted out a long time before we went to MC and the PA/EA he had for months before was evidence. H dropped out of our marriage when he got me C for my postpartum – I became someone else’s problem from that day on so he could be free to live out his needs.

Not sure which stage of MLC H is in now. Where are the active links to the stages and other resources? I tried going through the archives and it only redirects you the main DB forums page.