This ultramarathon has plenty of hills, no?

[jbnati]

Thanks Rick. The taxes should be fine as long as she comes alone and brings everything we need to get it done.

I have no intention whatsoever of bringing anything up about the phone number change. I got an extremely vague answer yesterday. That was enough to tell me I wouldn't get the truth anyway if I drilled down and asked for some specifics. I think I am concerned with the phone number change because I'd like to think I'm wise enough to know that people don't just on a whim change their phone number. It looks like she still has the same model of phone, so it seems apparent to me she doesn't want someone to call her. Either she's killing a fly with a sledgehammer or she's exhausted other avenues to get a certain person not to harass her.

[gunny]

JB,
Thanks for keeping us posted on this. As you said, she didnt change it to keep you away, must be for that other individual. I guess if she is ready to talk to you about it, she will. I will stay tuned.

Hope the weather out there is better than here, cloudy, cool today!

[jbnati]

gunny, thanks as always for stopping in. We had temperatures in the 60s yesterday and it was cloudy. After church yesterday, I just did something I very seldom do - I just relaxed on the couch and watched basketball all afternoon while my S played on his computer - he wasn't feeling that great yesterday so I didn't push him too hard.

[jbnati]

I had my S on Friday night. We went out for dinner at a wings place and watched part of the Carolina game. While we were there, there was a tornado warning relatively close to where my W is living right now - my S picked up the city from one of the TVs there. My S texted my W to make sure she was OK.

Later on, since my S left his phone by the coffee maker, I ended up snooping. (Don't snoop!). In part of the conversation he had with my W, my W said <some guy's name> is with me. My S replied back with, "I trust him". Ugh! Again - don't snoop! I know better!

[jbnati]

Saturday was the dreaded tax day. We are having H&R Block do our taxes this year as we have the previous couple of years. Part of the reason for this is that my W was a real estate agent, so things kind of get complicated, and they're even worse this year.

I get there for our appointment. I am not really surprised that my W isn't there yet. I go ahead and get started on the taxes. My W finally shows up about 10 minutes late. We start working on her part. She was 1 for 3 on providing W2s. She also didn't have all of her real estate expenses together. At one point she made the comment that it was usually me that got everything together. (Sorry! Not this time! I can't) We left it that she would get the rest of her stuff together and drop them off this week. She also asked to come over to look through some papers she had left in the office. I agreed to it.

She ended up being at my house for about 1.5 hours. She had left a few piles of paper in the office and we ended up going through them together. She also ended up getting one on one exposure to the new JB. It's the longest time we've had together in a long time. It was also nice to get through those piles of paper she had left behind.

First of all, she took notice of how clean the office was in spite of the piles of paper she had left behind. This was always a point of stress for her. I think we all know now who made that bed. We talked through several things regarding my S. There was no D talk and no R talk. The closest we came is when she mentioned something along the lines of, "eventually we'll have to see where things are going". She did ask what I thought if she were to buy a new car. She's driving an 11 year old car with 187,000 miles on it that's in her name. I pretty much told her I'd thought about it and I don't think I care, but I did really appreciate her bringing it up. She also mentioned my S has keeps telling her she needs to start going to church - doesn't matter where she goes, she just needs to go. She has turned her back on her faith through all this mess while I've done quite the opposite. Wonder why she brought that up? I may never know. She also noticed a wrist band I was wearing. It's from Winter Jam and Building 429 - a Christian rock band. She mentioned she had been invited to Winter Jam, too. My thinking is at this point she's trying to "keep up with the Joneses", with me being the "Joneses". Overall it was an interesting interaction. I asked her new job was going, and she said she loves it. I just said, "that's great!"

There was no mention whatsoever of her phone number change.

I don't think I've wavered from my position. I still don't want a D, but I'm also not sure I want her back, either, or at least right now. If I were to initiate or push the D forward at this point, it would be going against my own principles, and I believe in doing the right thing for my family and my S.

[kolja]

I can totally identify with still not wanting a divorce AT ALL - but also being completely ok with (at the risk of sounding flippant) her taking her time coming back. As unpleasant as it often is being apart, as much as I miss her (who she was when things were good), there ARE definite positives - personally, financially, etc - to us being where we are right now.

[Redo]

I don't think I've wavered from my position. I still don't want a D, but I'm also not sure I want her back, either, or at least right now. If I were to initiate or push the D forward at this point, it would be going against my own principles, and I believe in doing the right thing for my family and my S.

I am glad you are at this point jbnati.
funny that initially we all come here so scared of getting D. At the end we come to realize we can be happy even if the D goes through. Quite a transformation.

[labug]

Hey kolja and jb, that's about where I am. But I'd sure like to have another chance.

[kolja]

Labug - that's my position too; to the LETTER.

[gunny]

I'm with you guys. I'm nowhere near happy about having to get the D, but I will survive. I didnt feel like this a couple of months ago.