Did you read "The Solo Partner" or "The Passion Trap" Labug? You may find them helpful. (Nice to hear from you on my thread BTW)

Distancing for a pursuer is indeed very difficult. For me, I've felt like I've been doing a bad job as a husband when I distance. I've realized that measurement is against my own yardstick which W doesn't share, so historically I've been doing things that made me feel good and useful, but didn't necessarily help our relationship. To some degree, it feels badly only because it's different.

Now that I'm several weeks into it, some of it is becoming "normal" now, and a lot of the pain of new and different is passing. W went through a stage of being very anxious and uncomfortable, but we seem to be coming out on the other side of that as well. I've definitely noticed a difference in behavior where she is being more affectionate and trying harder for the last 5 or 6 days.

Hopeful this is a new norm versus a temporary correction.

Accuray

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015