Never thought I'd be here..........Part 12

[Harrier]

I know this falls somewhat on deaf ears, but here goes.

1. Regarding the future. You spend a lot of time wondering what if the D does or doesn't through and you lament the lack of certainty. Guess what? That's life. Nothing is certain, no one knows the future even in your R with your W was the best it could be - that doesn't guarantee that everything else in your life would be grand.
Worrying about the future, a future you can't control, does do is is rob you of the present.

Furthermore what does a D mean to you? Does it mean that your feelings stop at that point, a relationship with your wife is never, ever going to happen. Your child will grow up unloved?


2. Focusing on your child wanting his mommy. I think you are attaching a heartbreaking meaning to it. Guess what? 2-year-olds want their moms sometimes. Does that mean that you W is going to be attached at her hip until he's doesn't want here. Is your W going to be at his beck and call? No. I assume your W has to work sometimes. Even if your were fully R, there'd be times when he wanted his mommy and she wouldn't be around.

I think a lot of times LBS read their emotions, fears, etc into their kids (especially the younger ones) When my W and I lived apart, I tried to keep things as normal as possible and our kids had ZERO problems with the situation. (in fact, it helped our youngest son 2YO, not to be such a momma's boy.)

I didn't try to import my own fears, emotions, etc onto my kids at all. Neither did my wife.