Yes, I agree that you spent a lot of time talking, although what I saw was that you validated her (great) and that you were clear (many times; oh well, still great) about what you considered your issues and how you recognized them and were addressing them in various ways.
The fact that you describe one instance of your W indicating what she felt was her issues... as far as I'm concerned... that was great... because as far as I can remember, that is actually the first and only time she has done so... so in all fairness, it is a baby step, but probably she would consider it a giant step.
Honestly, I respect that others are suggesting you man up... and I would agree in the sense that you need to hold to your boundaries...
The rest of it... well, maybe you spent a lot of time in the convo being the "nice guy", but I believe you would really be able to suggest that your controlling was a huge part of your M of the past...
From where I stand... let her sit on the convo... she may or may not slow down... or change her mind... much... but it appears better to me than how it was in the beginning...
Keep doing what you are doing and perhaps it is time to start considering how you see yourself in a new M with your W... and... with compassion and respect for your W... what would deal breakers be for you and what boundaries you might set...
