W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P2

[Snowman]

25yearsmlc-I have no idea if I could get her to a Retrouvaille. She was always resistant of going to marriage counseling in the months past and she told me she will not go to MC unless she has decided to work on the marriage. I think she would say the same thing if I asked her to go to Retrouvaille but it can't hurt to present it to her.

As far as examples of how things would be different I told her how I would like to have our finances if we were together again. That when she mentioned the hiding of various purchases. I told her I have tried during much of this separation to not be controlling cause I know that was my problem and that when I asked or talked to her that I fear that it may be perceived as controlling. I remember her saying in another conversation that she thought I was screening her calls to our S which was not the case but she perceived it that way. I didn't really go into other examples because they are future examples that could happen but have not. I agree I could have provided more and will think about that.

I did not send her the letter. I told her much of the conversation in my letter was discussed today but I would finish it. Are you saying not to send it?

Mindfull-

I agree that I did more talking about what I did to contribute to our M problems. I didn't really see much remorse either. She may be going back and forth with whatever the next guy she maybe pursuing. Her phone records indicate that there is probably another guy in the picture from her last running trip. People on here have said that other guys are just a symptom of the real problems. I don't know that for sure and it is very very disheartening.

My W has to work late the day she is suppose to pick up my S so I will be watching him extra for her which I don't mind but you get the point. She has her soccer coaching training so that will be more time parenting our S for her on a day she should have him. Last she has to take her car in for a tuneup so she will probably be late getting our S again. I hate to complain about getting my S or parenting but her schedule is controlling mine I guess. I feel like I walk a fine line of of trying to be nice but not being abused as a doormat especially when my S is involved.

I really am trying to be a good man despite my W's decisions. I don't claim to have been a perfect husband but I can say I am changing and will continue to no matter what way this goes. I know I will not continue this marriage without serious counseling which I told her as well. We both agreed our old marriage is dead and did not want it.

Another interesting thing she said was we could maybe go through with the D and if we end up working things out we could get back together. I said I didn't want to do that and would rather try now if we were going to try. I'm not sure what her comment is suppose to mean but that seems weird or suspicious to me.

Anyway, I will see if she actually responds to my question of making a decision of wanting to work on it or not after this conversation.