IMHO Letting the LBS do all the work is really more of a shortly post bomb strategy. What it does is that it buys you time during the period that the WAS is most resolute. It also gives them time to cool off and look at things objectively.
Finally it gives reality some time to kick in.
As to how long you should wait? Hard to say, you know every case is different.
I think once the WAS seems content with living in limbo that you should move towards pulling the plug. I believe that for many after the initial resolve wears away, they may not be sure they are ready to return, and they are not sure they want to divorce. So they ride limbo afraid to make a decision. Some stories here ride on for months if not years of misery on both sides since the WAS is too afraid or too proud to make a decision.
In these cases I recommend just slowly letting go. Tell her you contacted a lawyer for advice, send him his info. Ask if she wants to contact him. Give her time.
Get the forms, send them, give her time to fill it.
In other words move with her, but continue to let her set the pace. Slowly amp the ante. Think of each movement as a toll gate. Slowly start moving towards it so she has time to think about it but knows that she may loose you if she doesn't make up her mind
It's the whole you don't know what you have onto you lose it.
