Today, I just felt it was time to call my H. I held off and didn't do it. I wanted to make sure I was doing it for the right reasons. So, I let time pass. I went to see a couple of properties (I'm looking to move), and I nearly fell in love with one. It is much smaller than where I live now, but I do need back into the city so I expect that much. But finding the right spot is always the trick. Today I may have found it. Anyway, I realised then that with all our stuff, I would then need to talk to my H to discuss how to sort that out.
So, I called him to talk about all the practicals - and in the end we talked for about an hour about just about everything else but. It was a VERY pleasant and comfortable conversation, and we caught up on everything that has happened in the week. All the various bits and pieces. I have been missing him terribly, so it was so nice to connect.
We briefly talked about Easter and what we would be doing with it. I will be with my parents. He mentioned he might go see his mother, but he couldn't decide. I just asked if he wanted to, and he truly hadn't decided. So, I just left it. This is a good 180 for me because in the past I would have discussed it at length - all the pros and cons and so forth (my control issues coming out). So, I didn't step in at all this time, and just thought to myself, "It's his life, his decision." I was very proud of myself that I didn't let myself be triggered.
The thing I worry about the most is that from the beginning of our S, he's been saying he wants to be friends. We've always been very good friends - the best of friends. This was a very friendly conversation. No romance or any form of sentimentality - other than us talking about our cats. So, I feel a bit strange because I don't want to be falling in the friends only category. Am I wrong in having that fear do you think?
