Not sure where to start

[wishing, hoping]

Journaling:

Took the kids to church today. Promised myself I would not mope around the house today. It was a nice service and it felt good to sing the hymns. I have wanted to get back to going to church for a few years now but the H never showed much interest and I did not push the issue.

I felt like a sinner waiting to be stoned. I felt like all eyes were staring at my ring finger that has no ring any longer. I tell you that is so hard not to wear that ring which once meant everything and now means nothing and it is even harder to see H's finger with no ring when before he would never take it off. Never.

We started singing "How Great Thou Art" and the tears started flowing. It brought back my father's passing, my step-dad's passing and reminded me of who I used to be before I was married. My S saw me crying and was so concerned. I thank God every day for my wonderful kids. I don't know what I would do without them. I just wish H would have some consideration for them because he only cares about himself.

So taking S for a haircut, out to lunch and some shopping. Hopefully I can keep my mind off things