Keeping the Kids Out of It

[angel61]

Princess, I quickly went through your thread as you did ask me a question in golf mom's thread about retrouvaille.

Yes, it was a very positive experience for us but it has to be the rigt time. And to be honest, I think even for me it was not the right time yet, altough at least it did make a significant change to our R. Look for my stories in both midlife crisis, and in piecing. The story of my retrouvaille experience is in my midlife crisis thread.

You are so early in this, and one thing I can say: it will not solve itself quickly. Both of you have a lot to learn, and I could see that you are learning quickly. Who knows, your H is also undergoing his own discoveries while away from you.

Please feel free to read my threads, I did post a lot of my struggles, and like many here, it was and still is the most painful time, and yet, it has also taught me so much and mostimportantly, has brought me closer to God.

Keep DBing, no matter how counter intuitive it is, it does work. And get rid of that therapist who is telling you to go on with your life if you want your M restored.

A few things to remember is this: You can only control yourself. No matter how much you say, or do, your H will do what he wants. Concentrate on yourself. Do not talk to him about the R. the 37 rules? they are spot on.

Detachment is the key, but it is hard to learn. I have been trying for almost two years now, and every month I get better at it, but still am not fully there! My H stayed at home for all the time that the whole sitch was happening, and it was incredible hard to not care.

YOu are in the best place to be though, as here you will find out that you are not alone.

Take care and hang in there!