PP, Good for you! I've also thought a lot about our R, and I know I have taken H for granted, I know we've both worked too much, and spent whatever time we've had together always with S. Never any time just the two of us. I also realize that I've been like his mom, always coming with advice and so on. I am perfectly aware that I've done my share of baddies. But I am willing to change that, I really am willing to work, and hard, for this M. It pains me that he just walked out so quickly when there's a child involved. And he really loves his S, they are very close.
Everyone sees how I've changed, so I am sure H sees it, too, but he doesn't comment. Funny thing everyone says I look so wonderful and happy - if only they knew...
He was here today, took S to a bday party and hung out here afterwards. We sat down and talked about little things (not about R or future or OW or where he's staying obviously). My DB is to act happy but a bit distracted, and to leave the room when things are nice, even if it's just to pick something up in the kitchen. Busy, busy, busy. I give him as much space as possible here at home. He wanted to come back tomorrow, but I said we had other plans then, so he suggested Tuesday and I said that wasn't very good either as S has piano lesson and recital later, which is the truth. I want him to understand that S and I have a full and interesting life that goes on in spite of him. It takes an enormous amount of energy and will power for me to have him come here, when he leaves I'm exhausted and drink a glass of wine. Well, I think I deserve that.
I bought some new lingerie today, stuff I would've never bought before. It makes me feel good, even though I'm the only one who sees it.
I'm in Westchester, 30 minutes from NYC. We should meet, make plans, and exchange ideas on how to get these men back - it's a painful process, why not try to make it a bit fun?
