New Day Rising

[tested metal]

Wow 4 myfamily, this makes perfect sense to me! My W displays almost the exact behaviors you describe, only MIL apparently supports her decision (a person who W has had major problems with in the past).

MIL descibed FIL as someone who worked a lot (farmer) and MIL descirbes herself as a bad Mom frequently, something that W has feared she would become when D1 was born.

W also has started messages to me as "sorry to bother you".. etc. and is nice if she gets what she wants, otherwise is downright mean and tries to make me out to be the bad guy if I stand up for myself or execrise any kind of self respecting behavior.

W also eluded to possibly some sexual abuse in the past, but can't remember what it is/what happened. I was very supportive of this when we were together.

I look at my own faults of not setting better boundaries and letting her walk all over me and I did not share my true feelings when i felt taken advantage of for fear of losing her.

The iceberg analogy is very true and I see this a lot in my profession. I just never wanted to compare W to it, but we all go through some sort of it.

I am trying to be calm, cool, and fair through out this ordeal, but am now seeing when W wants an inch, she will take a mile.

I am afraid of looking like the bad guy so i let her.


I guess my fear of assertiveness is something I need to explore.