Hey Bill, glad you got my posts eventually, I understand why they have moderate them but it can be frustrating. I hope you got one they sent to you as a PM hopefully? If you can't make use of the sessions please can you let me know so I can donate them to anyone they feel would benefit? I saw your initial posts on here & felt I had to register & see if I could help, especially as we are both in Blighty!
My sitch is now pretty brilliant, I feel like there is some joy in my life after a long time. That said, I will never forgot it & I take nothing for granted, but the stuff I used to think was important just isn't any more!! Thankfully for us the moment my H realised I was done being understanding & he had to take responsibility for what he was doing he said it was like he "woke up". I had some DB counselling with Laurie which really helped me, I truly could have talked to her for hours, what a wonderful, compassionate, sincere lady. I was only going through this for a few weeks, but it felt like years. There are some incredible people out there who deal with this "limbo" for literally years. I respect them so much.
What I found helped was reading the book, looking on here, talking to two trusted, loyal, friends & GAL. It's almost like you are living some sort of emotional experiment. I don't know about you but I couldn't eat, sleep, or concentrate but I forced myself to do what I thought would work. As much as you may look at your W now as if she is a stranger, don't forget you do know her intimately. Go with your instincts, mine served me pretty well for the most part.
Also one thing that really helped me was exercising. Doing a really tough, punishing workout was strangely cleansing. I read a lot of stuff about M's & R's when going through this & one guy wrote something along the lines of "feelings come & go, we cannot become a slave to them" - that really resonated with me. When all said & done you will look back at this time & realise it made you better, stronger & far more self sufficient. Whatever happens I believe you have done the right thing by seeking to stay in your marriage. Keep on trucking buddy, I'm not religious but will be sending you good vibes up to Liverpool.
