SM, your original postings were very angry and laced with control over your W.
You appear to me to have worked through much of that, although it does appear you still have some work to do in that regard.
OTOH, it is OK to be angry and vent here, of course. There are things we need to own, as our responsibility in the sitch... and then there's the projections, untruths, and re-written history of the WAS that we have no reason to own, nor even accept... but, we should validate... as untrue as they may be, they ARE (take this on the surface, not the cause) feeling the way they do... right or wrong...
That being said, my feet remain planted firmly in the middle...
Please be careful not to backslide into thoughts and behaviours that would attempt to control or manipulate your W, or be punitive... these things you HAVE done in the past...
Perhaps you may not... I am simply putting this out there...
Finish that letter... send it... don't let your current negative feelings affect the content and context of the intention of the letter... do it BEFORE the chat...
And BELIEVE and BEHAVE as you wrote...
Because the primary way to affect your R is to change yourself...
Keep the changes going and don't backslide because you feel slighted or you begin to feel you need to blame your W...
