I've read both of your threads, and you're getting great advice here, from various viewpoints, so there's nothing real deep I wanted to add other than this:
If you're wanting to be intimate with your husband again, please use protection. Before letting him back into that kind of relationship with you, I would hope that you insist on a full-panel STD test, and have him show you a copy of the results.
He keeps saying how "sorry" he is. MrBond had a great quote previously about the difference between "regret" and "remorse." If your husband truly IS remorseful, he should have no problem doing what it takes in order for you to feel comfortable in the marriage again.
Is his continuing to be in contact with this OW at work a deal-breaker for you? How much interaction do they have there? He's REALLY playing with fire there, as it's pretty much like giving the pyromanic daily access to the matches and the kerosene.
Starsky
P.S. Although he is rejecting LMing right now, let me ask you this: will he kiss you passionately?
