I really do wonder if he was in the beginnings of MLC when we first met, and think he probably was. My therapist even said that it sounds like whatever he's going through was interrupted. I've only seen this person once, so we haven't unwrapped everything yet, but I will share my insight as it comes.
Of course, I only really read up on MLC after the break up so I would have had no idea about it if it fell from the sky and landed on me...which it sort of did! H's wall is very, very thick. He lets nobody in. Even his best friend has said that there's a side of H he doesn't know. They've known each other for more than 20 years.
I believe H is most definitely depressed, and that he probably has been for quite some time. It's almost like as long as there was something to distract him from it he was OK, but as soon as things settled into routine he'd lose it again. Once we moved to the country there was no distraction of buying a house, planning trips, planning a wedding, selling a house, buying a house. It was all about building our life. Even though he had everything he ever talked about wanting, he bolted.
If you read my entire history here, you'll know that there's some pretty deep and complicated stuff going on with H. He's not like a lot of the spouses here who were truly intimate with their spouses at some point. H could never, ever open up...I simply trusted that he was committed, as we all do I suppose, but normally there is a closeness that is tangible and not simply implied.
Seeking, I would love to know which actions you feel are suspect. I'm certain I would agree with you but would love an outside perspective. And I hear you. Understanding helps me cope too. I should go back and read all my posts, but I'm not ready yet. I'm a little scared because I will probably realize it was all a sham.
me 45 H 46 T 5 M 2.5 BD Sept 6 2011 OW Sept 8 2011 Threw him out Sept 8 2011
