W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P2

[mindfull]

Snowman. Now, we're getting somewhere.

Your last post is full of more truths, than your entire two threads combined!

So. Just a quick response for now...

Yay! On soccer coaching! I have two club soccer boys, who have played since they were toddlers.

She volunteered to coach (Yay!).
She committed you w/out discussing first... (Boo!).
Boundary: W, you volunteered and commuter your time to this position. If you can't fulfill it, it's your responsibility to get yourself covered. Because I love the sport, and will enjoy S doing it, I'm glad to help on X day(s), but you will need to find your replacement coach on X days.

Running (Yay!)
She committed you to supporting time it takes to prepare/compete: (Boo!)
Boundary: W, I'm so glad you've found a physical outlet. Training and competing take time. I'm glad to support your races when S and I are free, but we have plans on X day. Or, I think it's important that S remains on his sleep schedule, and won't wake him to be there at that time.

And, unfortunately, I was stung really bad by 'marital debt' in my D, even though occurred AFTER we were separated, and the Judge ordered neither of us to acquire additional debt. You are financing her. Also, it appears she was a 'partial' stay-at-home mom. Do you know, for sure, that she would have gotten half if everything? Or that you were negotiating/fiscally planning correctly? It's hard, since we only see what's typed here...

Lastly, admittedly, I have no tolerance for cheating, and my xH knew that before we married. The feeling about it didn't just appear once it happened to me. So, it was clearly a deal breaker. I have a hard time seeing how anyone would fight for someone that doesn't want to be with them. However, with that said, I have incredible respect for those that move past it, heal and restore their marriages. But... If you notice, the ones that do so have a spouse w/a common behavior... They are incredibly remorseful and sorry. The LBS didn't sit and wait to be considered attractive again. They acted, on their own path, and didn't ride the roller coaster.

I've read nowhere of your W's true remorse. Only that she's sorry, some days, that she's given up her lifestyle. (I'm wondering if those says are when she's had a falling out w/her affair partners, since she tends to go back to get affirming ways w/in days...)

Starsky is probably one of your best sources of help. He was a strong, leading, boundary living LBS who restored his marriage, but first realized where his improvements were needed.

My point of view comes from someone who did a lot of 'waiting/hoping, etc... Only to realize, I didn't have to live like that. I created a plan to move on... And live again ( instead of just reacting).