W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P2

[Snowman]

All I can say is Holy Cow 25yearsmlc and Mindfull. I'm not going to try to respond to all of your banter back and forth other than to say you have both over reacted just like me. I did post the post to vent not to got slammed again and again.

I don't know if I got help here or projections of the things you two have gone through.

25yearsmlc-
I went to the meeting to actually learn what was needed to coach not to chase my son. I would have gladly watch my son at home if that was the intent but it was not. There where numerous handouts and other things discuss of the which I hear nothing about. I enjoy watching my son but it would have been nice to know a single detail about what I will be participating any but now I know nothing.

I posted to vent because it did bother me that she committed us to something without the consideration of even asking me. If that is wrong or controlling on my part then sorry but I would not commit my W to weeks of her time and responsibility without at least asking her know before hand.

The running-Yes running is healthy, never debated that and is silly to mention. How do I know the running is an outlet or not I can't read her mind. I do know the large time commitment it takes to prepare for these races as I have lived it. Running everyday, weekends, and other training. Yes, I do think I resent it when we were still together because it seemed to control our life's. I like golf but that doesn't mean I get to go golfing everyday or weekend and play in 6 tournaments or whatever. Is this all about what my W wants to do and I should just get to do nothing and be the only parent. I don't think the topic of running is grasped. I welcome some compromise on this but when I get blamed for not supporting because I can't wake our S up super early to be to a race at the finish line because my 2 year old S doesn't want to stand still for 2-3 hours or I get blamed for not running a race yet I'm watching our S then I have somewhat of a problem. I know it is called parenting but when I'm watching or playing with my S for my W now it feels like babysitting for her. I'm not sure of your tone but I hope you are not questioning me in the parenting things now as well.

No, I never coached so that is wrong. I played for years before I ever knew my W.

You say loose that scorecard which I can understand but then I feel like you are keeping score for me in the post and defending her or something. I'm not keeping score I'm expressing my frustrations.

The nagging to talk stopped. I only emailed her once about other things when I got back from my trip which included other things as well. I didn't consider this nagging. She told me she was very busy which I told her I understand so when I saw her I asked if she would like to talk then. That is twice that I mentioned it. Is this nagging her?

Wow, you tell me to learn to STFU and telling me I'm a turn off because I pointed out in my own post of my mistake of pursuit.

My plan as you described it was what I have been doing as my W continued to pursue the D.

What have I learned or changed:
-I have learned I can only control me. (Your post you have painted me otherwise)
-I have learned what I over-controlled.
-I have learned about the fear-shame dynamic of males/females and how that affects relationships.
-I have learned I'm not perfect
-I have learned to be a better father

Marriage would be different
-I would not neglect her emotionally
-I will be a better father
-I would be supportive of her goals in work, school, and others. (you think otherwise)
-I will not try to solve her problems but just be there and support her.

I have had my S more than my W as I have to kept track of it and I do want my S. I have painted here like I don't or have not supported him which is absolutely wrong. I can't type everything here as to who I am or what I do. I thought this forum was a place we are able to vent so we don't take the anger into the relationships we are working on. I do also understand the feedback and I guess criticism but wow the approach is a little rough.

Mindful-
I have actually heard the brat comment from others as well I did agree in various aspects. Many boundaries have been set and what she does is on her own money and time. I gave her the half of her finances. What she does with it is up to her.

I don't constantly push on my W as 25yearsmlc says. I emailed her once and asked her once days later. My W and I have been communicating through text and phone a lot. She even texted me a picture of her on her running trip last weekend.

-I actually did everything I could to not have her move out and I did go through the house were she moved to.
-I didn't finance her new lifestyle. I gave her the half of the finances and she works so what she does now is paid by her.
-The cell bill is paid by both of us
-I did go on vacation were she watched my S so her going is fair although she didn't tell me about until after she was planning it.
-The tuition loan is in her name and her responsibility. Not happy about it but it is hers.

A stronger stance may be the correct approach. I will assess my direction tomorrow from my conversation. Thanks for all the feedback from everyone.