The first thing I would strongly advise, if you can, get your very own attorney! There are attorneys out there that will do sliding scale fees' or take payments. If it weren't for my attorney I never would've been heard, never gotten spousal support, and NEVER would've gotten cooperation from my stbx.
My stbx did the same thing, wanted a quick divorce. At first I wasn't going to contest, thinking he had no extra money to pay me spousal support,I couldn't afford an attorney,and there was no reason for me to fight him on custody of the kids. Then things started coming out of the closet in regards to stbx.He had plenty of money to give me spousal support.I knew I needed an attorney but didn't have the money And by the Grace of God I got a very unexpected dividend check from my deceased mother as her only heir! Mother was helping me from above! I know she still looks out for me all the time! I was able to retain an attorney with this money. He took the case for a much smaller fee and did alot of pro bono stuff for me. I can make payments too.
This is the hardest part, knowing you must stay strong and think of the financial future of you and the kids, yet still have your heart break at the same time. But don't give up, just keep going foward. At times you will want to buckle under the pressure and throw your hands in the air. Once again, don't give up. Don't let him buffalo you or bully you. I felt very bullied by stbx, cause when I hired an attorney and he found out I was standing my own ground, Oh boy he was infuriated. Don't let that stop you.
I also found out that OW and his flipping cousin that used to be a legal secretary were pumping him up not to pay me child support before a court order was made, and filling his head with all this other crap. They thought I didn't have an attorney and were hoping I would get the shaft and he'd save all this money, of course OW wanting it to be spent on her so she can continue to be a kept woman. He tried getting out of child support in the middle of December. I called my attorney. I got nasty emails from STBX, but I did get my money and have promptly ever since. You husband may try to bully you, because he's acting like a selfish child right now. What do we do when our children have tantrums and act out? Keep our boundaries and stay firm.
Remember there are TWO in this marriage and you both do have rights, ESPECIALLY YOU! HE LEFT, AND HE MUST DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS ACTIONS. PERIOD.
Ok....Im on my soap box now...oh your sitch seems so similar! I was a SAHM till 3 years ago. I had to go back to work because stbx lost his job. Yes you are living and breathing this horrible situation that you were thrust into without any consent from you what so ever. I am so sorry because this is how I've felt so many times, especially after he first left. One thing I did learn though, during the worst part of this was..... I can do this on my own. I can. Im not saying it's easy, because it will be the hardest thing you do for a while, but you will be able to make it.
