I don't think I'd change any of the advice I gave you. You MUST Read the DIv Remedy book as soon as possible.
Many of your expectations are unrealistic in terms of a time line.
AND if you want to restore this marriage, then you have to stop wanting to expose the affair to others.
It will probably hurt the OW's partner a lot...and she sounds as if she's trying to be better with him.
Plus, it will backfire big time on YOU. You may push them together more, b/c you will be cornering them
or you may just harm his career and piss him off more b/c really what does this have to do with his JOB?
And you may also look crazy. On my high schoo reunion website some ex wife posted to "warn" other wives that "X" girl might steal their husbands like she had stolen the ex wife's.
Several people commented that the EX WIFE sounded nutty/bitchy...not a word about the OW.
That's how it is seen. So don't make him think the choice to cheat makes sense or make others think you deserved him doing that b/c you are so vindictive.
Finally, do you want to repair this marriage?
Then you both have some real work to do, including you and some of your tit for tat concerns.
Keep the Road Home Paved and Smooth, and don't make it any harder for him than it already will be.
That does NOT mean you are being a doormat or saying "all is forgiven."
Maybe you can get Bond to advise you on how to pave a way for your h to come home WITH EFFORT on his end, obviously, (Bond is good at it so that's why I suggest this)
and maybe then it won't look so hopeless to your h. To me it seems your pride is very wounded, clearly BUT that also seems to be what you are following.
Don't let a wounded ego be your guide now.
Why on earth is he living in a car?
How long do you think it'll take before his remorse turns into resentment?
If he feels that in some way your hangups played a part in his affair, (which YOU admit)
won't you force him to start rationalizing it more?
Food for thought.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
