BeingMe- thank you for your reply. When you said, "Don't let him get away with not fulfilling his responsibilities, even though he doesn't want to. Choices have consequences ... he needs to face his." That really spoke to me... since he's so convinced he has no choices, but I had made a point of pointing out all his choices when he had his angry outburst a few weeks ago. I have just been thinking a lot lately when is all of his destruction going to be too much.... I know I know don't take anything personally and blah blah blah, but he is an adult, not an actual teenager.... when does he see he's being a HUGE jackass and screwing up his life. I deserve to be respected and appreciated and am sick of being taken for granted.

I think it just annoys me that he was just away for work (I'm assuming) and I have no idea where, geographically, my husband was, if he got there safely (which clearly he did or he wouldn't be back home now).... it's all so messed up.

I keep telling God I don't know what his plan is but I will continue to trust Him even though a lot of times this emotional pain gets to be just too much for me to bear! I'm tired.... exhausted really of not knowing what personality awaits me when I get home, if he is even home. I'm sick of being treated like the enemy or a bad person. I'm irritated that he seems to have lost the ability to figure out how to put the dishes in the freaking dishwasher! I think he does that and some other things just to try and make me mad, but I don't say a word... I just go on with my life. Also every time he eats something I bought he's like I'll pay you for that... really?!?!? You don't have to pay me for food in our house!

Sometimes I want to take him and shake him and scream wake up! Realize YOU are having a freaking midlife crisis already and get some freaking help!!!!! Stop living in denial, and there is no shame in counseling!!! I would never actually do that.... but come on I know I'm not the only one who has had that picture run through their mind....

I'm just having one of those moments of even if/when he gets through this and realizes he's made the biggest mistake ever is it even going to be repairable? I mean a person can only get treated like crap for so long....