Never thought I'd be here..........Part 12

[25yearsmlc]

So far GM, most of our R talks have been recapping what has happened and the impact it has had on our respective lives. Granted, they are not hostile convos at all - but they do open the eyes a bit. In doing so, yes, I think I do do a lot of validating. I think I am still in that phase/mode where I want her to feel comfortable with me. We are almost there. I am fearful of injecting an issue with any real gravity to it until she feels safe with her emotions with me.

Crimson

I get that. Before I read the part about the garnishment but I had read about the weird transaction wherein you surprised her w/a CS check,

I was actually going to suggest you get it automatically deducted to avoid these exact times. It's awkward and it's a reminder of the past/problems and how to go forward. As for what she intends in pursuing both...IDK/

But it's easy to put the brakes on a divorce at the last minute. I'd bet her L told her just that, while he bills by the hour. (No Crim, you don't get to remind her of that).

Ironically, I saw this as a good thing, mostly. It keeps the issues more separate.
Just my take on it.

But GM is right. Even though you are understandably reluctant to throw a wrench into it, you do have to communicate more. You have to resolve conflicts instead of ignoring them or letting them fester.

How about you both Learn new problem solving skills as a couple? That would do a lot to make you both feel safe, wouldn't it? Ask the mc.

& why not tell her how YOU FELT when you got the notice?

Or just say "it's confusing/conflicting" for you,

w/IVF and possible fatherhood joys again, on one hand,

AND OR being single forever...

and then LISTEN for her response...and keep listening.