I was usually trying to focus on satisfying W. I'm not saying that I was a selfish lover, focussed on using W to satisfy my appetite, and preferred to get it an easier way. I'm saying selfishness was easier than focussing on her. Also, we weren't really sex-starved; we ML at least weekly. On the kids, I did my best to help out, especially at night. I of course acknowledge that the stress was affecting both of us. And yes, we didn't have the tools to deal with it effectively. I was about to regret that now we don't have the time to learn the tools, but then I remembered where I was. Time is on my side, and it takes one to tango.
