looking for hope

[jc180]

I contacted the lawyer today and he said he will have the temporary orders ready to go Friday. I'm not sure when they judge will see them but at least progress is being made.

W picked up my son today and apologized for what she said. She said just to tell her how much I need for gas and groceries and she will pay all of the bills from her new bank account.

She also told me she is stressing about not having him this weekend. She asked me how I did it and I just smiled and said nothing. She also asked if we had something fun planned and I said i'm sure I will think of something. Truth be told I might just be working this weekend. I'm crossing my fingers that I get a call tomorrow. So I'm happy that I am making progress moving forward but I'm upset that I might not get to spend the whole weekend with my son. I'm keeping my potential job a secret for now because I want to avoid a fight about visitation. I'm sure she will tell me since I can't be with him to let her have him. I would rather she felt what I felt like last weekend when I didn't have him.

This is so ridiculous. During our first attempt at Reconciliation she told me she resented me for staying at home. She didn't realize how much her maternal instincts would kick in and she wanted to be a stay at home mom. The irony now is that her time with him will be cut in half because of the D!

I saw my therapist today and she had some interesting things to say. Mainly that in her opinion my wife was looking to leave the marriage back when I began therapy. She was pointing the finger at me and accusing me of being the problem. However, since I made major changes in my behavior quickly she no longer had that to be mad about. So now she is full denial of our problems and is angry. I think the DR book is working. She was expecting me to behave in a certain way i.e crying, begging, bargaining, but I've been cool and collective. I think it is frustrating her.

As I was typing this she called me and asked why I was being secretive. LOL. She wanted to know what I had planned for this weekend. I just said not to worry about him and we will be having fun. She wants to "imagine" what he will be doing over the weekend.