So I decided to go the positive route, and extend an olive branch. I called to check on him at work to see how he was feeling. He is still having stomach issues, and is literally scared to eat anything. He's been drinking water, juice, and Gatorade all day. LOL Anyway, he is headed to NC tomorrow to work on music stuff. He's supposedly headed to a city that is nowhere near where OW lives (at least that's where he told me he'd be). He's been sick for two days, I've been tired for two days, so we really haven't spent that much time together. In the same room together yes...actively engaged no. (Didn't say this to him though)
I asked him if he was getting off of work at his regular time today. He said yes. I said since you'll be gone for two days, I'd like to spend a little time with you before you leave tomorrow. *Insert 10 second pause here* Then he says he was getting off at his regular time. I said and you still have to pack. He said yes, but he'd just throw some things in a bag. Told me he was going to try and get a haircut today (here we go with the hair again! LOL) and then he'd be home. I just said okay, and that I had to stop and get a power strip for my Xbox Kinect on the way home. (Trying to include the “date” with something else – he hooks up my Kinect; we play a game or two that he won’t be able to resist because he LOVES video games)
I was a little annoyed at his pause when I asked to spend time with him, but got over it because really, this is only the 2nd time since the bomb that I have asked. The first time was in the beginning of February a couple of weeks before his Vegas trip. I asked him about going to Cold Stone to grab some ice cream after work in an email. He seemed very hesitant - making the excuse that he couldn't get off of work early, when he does this ALL the time. So I just let it go. I know now through my DB Coach that I should have handled this differently. Plus, I hadn’t implemented any changes as far as our M was concerned – not that I have done so much now either, but at least I’m trying.
So hopefully tonight I’ll have at least started implementing some of the suggestions from my DB Coach. I do want to say here that I can see how if I’m not watching it, I could easily slip back into being my old, negative, sarcastic self. I need to do a better job of listening first before I respond. I know some of this has to do with my anger as well. Yeah, we’re back to that again.
I’m wondering if I should go dark while he’s gone. He’ll be in the studio most of the time anyway, so it’s not likely that he’ll even notice that I haven’t called or texted. Or maybe he will? I don’t want to go dark, and have it backfire.
I was perfectly okay making decisions on my own before. Why is it I need a consortium now to even decide what shoes to put on in the morning? LOL
