25yrs, Some things I've been learning about myself: My pacivity (which has even been apparent and called out by some on this thread) is a big part of my draw to pornography. ML with W is kinda hard for me; so much focus and effort required. porn is way easy and doesn't ask for anything from me. I have not been a very competitive person in a lot of ways. I'm suspicious that some of my behavior over the last 11 years has been due to R dynamics and stress, etc. We had 3 caulicky kids before I was 24, I always struggled to have close friends other than W, etc. W was often moody and when she was hungry she was pretty un-fun to be around. That isn't to say I'm not truly addicted and just need to take a communication course and GAL and snap out of it, though. Dad was a gentle and nice man, but it always made me want to scream how he would constantly leer at women. He is actually in SA as well, and his valley was deeper and darker than mine, but I didn't know any of this until recently. I am certainly convinced that I inherited a predisposition. Among the mountain of things I'm trying to read right now, I'm really identifying with "No More Mr. Nice Guy" that I saw recommended on this site. I think that, as for this forum, that's probably enough insight to my issue. I am certainly digging much deeper, on my own and in other communities. I know people here see enough to make one's toes curl, and I will answer any other questions you have. But I shy away from further disclosure here. I hope it is modesty and not shame.
