I'm sure if you are here you want to work things out. Sounds like kids are all at age where they should be out on their own so maybe situation with them will improve. The most common advise is better YOURSELF, concentrate on yourself and not your spouse. Workout, get in shape, maybe pickup a hobby, change your look some, and spend time with friends. Engage your spouse in relationship talks only when they bring it up. Your husband does not want to be chased at this point. You don't have kids together, maybe you find out in process you would be happier with someone else or maybe it works out with him. Dragging a unwilling spouse to counselling is never really helpful.
