Well, here at the 2 and half month since this started. I have to admit it's better than in the beginning. Where every day you wake up in disbelief and shock. It's now just something to be dealt with. I try to anticipate now. I know when I see him it will tailspin me. Haven't seen him much. Also phone calls, always about practical d. stuff, but usually some communication about what's going on in our lives. That throws me. It''s almost better when no contact.
That doesn't mean that I only got about 4 hours sleep last nite, woke up obsessing w thought of him. Finally got up and did errands. But then driving by all the places we used to go, resturants, etc. I feel the pain and then go well that's going to happen and try to put out of my head. It's like constantly being tested. And then you have to make it pass. I think once I get out of our house and neighborhood it will be better. I look forward to the day when I am in my own place, all settled in, all the moving crap and the list of 40 things I have to do is done, the papers are signed I can really move forward and get on really to me.
I'm by no means done with this m. He may be, but I'm not. I will decide. I wonder how he is going to feel when he moves back into our home, with all of me erased? We did have some good times here. I know, I live with the memory of them every day.
Starting to pack up. What a pain. But it is busywork. NOt looking forward to when he has to be here to divide up mutual stuff, like kitchen. Oh well, get thru another day.
