WAW close to moving out, please help

[25yearsmlc]

Does she have a history of psychiatric issues?

Have you called her mentally ill?

Sleeping a lot, paranoia are concerning.

I don't think I have a option now other than to be supportive when I can, always nice and calm, and try to protect my kids and myself legally.

This is always a good stance.

I tried to bring it up delicately. We've talked a bit... I told her she seemed to change when she went from taking anti-depressants to another class of meds (its for joint paints but depression and mood swings are on the symptom list). I tried to dance around it.

are you an MD? Why are you diagnosing her? You don't seem to get how insulting this is to her. And how she must want to flee your presence. IT does not come across as loving to me.

It looks manipulative, and as if you want to make this about her being crazy

as opposed to her being an overburdened wife w/3 kids, & a husband who describes her as "having aged" faster than him, but doesn't ask WHY that would be or try to help....

and who says he's "better than 75% of men out there" but admits it's tough to have all the kids at once, (which she of course, does ALL the time)...


She has prescripted meds from a physc nurse practitioner relative (which I think is inappropriate). That person will not answer my calls (called twice)...

of course she would not call you back. She would be violating your w's privacy and breaking a law by discussing her treatment with you. Period. Oh and btw, 90% of women on anti-depressants have h's whom they describe as "Critical."


and sent them text saying I was concerned for wife and wanted to discuss it with them... they called wife instead and she was pissed. That is the extent of it. She went from just " I don't love you and want to separate" to a lot of anger, hate, and now paranoia.


so you never picked up on how unhappy your wife was until right then? Never?

Also there is the possibly that wife is getting off anti-depressants because she knows it will be a custody issue... and getting off them is causing her to go downhill mentally.

CD

I doubt her anti-depressants would be a custody issue, b/c guess what?

If you believe she's not mentally fit to take care of the kids, why'd you leave her with them all these years? You can't have it both ways.

I think you are missing a real opportunity here.

A chance to change your life and improve your marriage.

Your w sounds very sad, overworked, vastly under appreciated, with low self esteem...she is desparate to be happy. I think the kissing of OW which your w's friend witnessed, was very destructive. I'm shocked you don't think it was a big deal. Another dagger to her ego I'm sure.

You want to make her wrong and crazy and tell yourself you're a great guy.

Dig deeper. Be a man only a fool would leave. Turn things around by changing YOU.

B/c here is the thing...

your wife will only want to reconcile with you if she believes

marriage to you can be better/different than before.

So how are YOU showing that you are different now?

you are all you control anyhow, so see that as empowering. And get a realistic time line of how much this will take to effectively change the m.

Your "3 weeks" made me slap my forehead. Um, they say a month for every year of marriage is what it will take for her to believe in your changes...so a good year of changes and improvements are reasonable to expect. Not weeks...many months...

but I don't know what changes you are making. ANY 180s?

Have you gotten some counselling to see what you can work on to improve yourself?

Like I said, dig deeper, or you'll be missing the best chance for really evolving into the man you were meant to become. A man your children are watching...