Somewhere in my heart I think he was reaching out a bit, but that could be this foolish optimism I've adopted in recent months.
I think they never let go. My W sent an email apologizing for her behavior, and putting herself down a bit. I sent a reply validating her feelings and reminded her that (even though she has acted out specifically towards me), that she still has some very good qualities. She has not responded.
I think they are very reluctant to cut the strings, they need a safety net. It is possible that only when there is no safety net that they have to finally look at the issues inside?
I am 99% sure that my wife is high functioning Borderline Personality Disorder, Due to childhood abandonment issues her neural networks are wired differently as a survival/coping mechanism, this is a brain disorder. It can be overcome but I feel it will always be there. I am supportive if she needs help and I have empathy but it is not my job to fix her or to let her act out against me anymore.
Throughout our relationship my instincts have put up red flags which I have ignored. My instincts are more accurate and reliable than my conscious decisions. If your instinct tells you he is reaching out he probably is, but can he give you what you want or need in a relationship?
