Indecision and the affair continues (part 3)

[Nblost]

Yep, I definitely don't recommend snooping. You are much better off focusing on yourself and not on the affair. However, for me, it was very helpful to see the evidence of his A as he slinked home acting like everything was fine.

I've just really gotten to the point where I've realized that my H is the one having the affair. I should be the one filing for divorce. I'd feel worse if he continued in the affair and then eventually filed for divorce himself.

I'm truly at the point where I need to move on. I think my H hates the fact that I filed...but if all of this still isn't enough for him to change course? I feel like I'm saving myself a lot of wasted months.

I would have also wanted H to come back because he really wanted to...not because his affair ends and he "might as well". We all deserve to be first choice.

I've been feeling horrible about my marriage for 9 months and have known about his affair for almost 7 months. That's enough for me. And, I felt a wave of relief when I filed and no regrets...that's a big sign I was ready.

I found an old book of mine last night "Play to Win". It's more about career...but also has some applicability to life. It's all about conquering fears and living your life to "win" versus "not to lose". Applies well to my situation..