I was so worried about what he was going to do with that anger. He gamed all day and night and gained 50 pounds. Then he became angry, and who was his target? Me, the kids, and the animals. AND THIS IS 15 YEARS POST ONLINE CYBER AFFAIRS ON MY PART, so Im thinking what's going on here is the PTSD is triggering all SORTS of stuffed anger and resentment. He even started criticizing his mom over things when he was 13 years old. He even started giving me guilt trips over things I said 20 years ago.
Understanding is priceless...my W is doing the same things...some people seem to be reluctant to process and LET GO of things from the past, they never seem to do the work, reach acceptance and move on...until MLC when it just HAS to be let out somehow...we wish they could do it in a different way, don't we? You, like me, are a fixer...accept that we can't fix them...it is their problem to figure it out and get needed help from counselors, etc. (I remind myself of this EVERY DAY!)
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What comes after forgivness? Trust?
Maybe, if they get themselves resolved.
Eventually, if reconciliation happens, we will have to risk trust again. But we are stronger because of this ordeal, so we can risk trusting again, because we have done the WORK to be ourselves...better, stronger people. For example, how would a Bomb Drop affect you today, verses when it happened? Much differently, I imagine....
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When I start to understand the "why's" or the "how's" of it all, then it clicks into place, and then acceptance is smooth for me.
You sound like me....say, have any plans next weekend?
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
