Detached, but not Broken-a diary of a LRT

[25yearsmlc]

Hi labug,

Thanks for your response. I am certainly going to carry on with my changes to be a better person. I will make updates here sporadically, but when I come to this site it is going to immediately bring my W and failed marriage to the forefront of my mind which I can't deal with right now.

maybe someday soon you'll post about all your GAL instead...and your PMA and the 180s and your w may not come up again at all.

I happen to think seeing a professional is called for. Most spouses would in your shoes if they could not control their thoughts...

and there are several posts on this site about HOW to get the thoughts of your spouse with OPs out of your mind.

Check those out. The stop sign method is simple but effective. You literally imagine a Stop Sign every time she comes into your mind and replace that thought with another DIFFERENT one...but there is more to read on it. Check it out.



My plan for now is to keep working on myself, and strengthening my relationship with God, and put a lot of focus on my job and other GAL activities, and more importantly, try to forget that my W, our marriage, and our past ever existed.


if that helps you for NOW, temporarily, so be it. But in the long run it is not the recipe for growth.

At this point I doubt I'll ever get married again (although that's what I said after the first one), given my track record with it that really would be insane... lol I need to learn to be happy on my own, which is what I am trying to do. It's probably going to be a long time before that happens.


You have nothing to decide now. If you learn from the mistakes you made in this r, and you grow into the man you were meant to become, then you may well feel differently AND better prepared for a healthy r with someone...later.


So I'll still be around from time to time. Who knows, maybe a month from now she'll be telling me she's sorry... Somehow I doubt it lol It's more likely that she'll engaged to the OM since he's loaded.

Thanks again bug, many hugs to you!

enough about her.

What, specifically, are you working on in you? Your temper? Okay good...and the condemnations, how about those?

They don't help YOU or your cause.

I learned this the hard way---

"if you hold onto anger b/c you think it hurts someone else,

it's like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes."