I AM watching her. Probably too much. I get that I need to watch her to some extent per DR book. So I can adjust if need be. Backoff. I do have a small amount of momentum in a positive direction. That is strictly because of changes in how I choose to interact and react to various scenarios. I like me more. How I conduct myself.
You guys are just saying stay grounded. I'm not out of the woods. There is more to come. Lots more. Don't have any expectations. Right?
The M can only be repaired if/when she owns her side. One person can change the dynamics, but it takes two to have a real R.
I don't have the overwhelming fear I first had. I am not too big to admit that I can still allow myself to get wraped up and scared. But on a scale of 1-10 where I was at 10, I am now at 4. And the four is my current peak. Sometimes I'm at 0. I'm not thinking about this sh!t 24/7 anymore. I like that.
I am learning to detach. Trying. Doing better. I am a work in progress.
