Indecision and the affair continues (part 3)

[Nblost]

I've had a stressful day at work and H had also been texting about his weekend plans. He comes back on Friday and will take the kids until at least Saturday (to his parent's house). Sunday is our D4's birthday, so he offered to be gone until Sunday but I said I would like her to be home that day.

I don't think H understands that I really can't deal with him being in the house anymore. I'm fine coparenting...but the thought of him trying to be nice to me or acting sad/conflicted about me filing for divorce is so hard. He acts like he cares, but time after time...does worse things with OW.

I saw some of his emails to OW last weekend. (I've been amazingly non-snoopy...but had the opportunity and took a look last weekend when he was home). I saw their back and forth on planning their romantic WEEK in Mexico a couple weeks ago. They were reserving the rooftop romantic suite, planning dinner on the sand, etc. I also saw he was emailing her about next Christmas and taking all of the kids (his and hers) to Hawaii. (to the resort I had mentioned to him as a place I knew the kids wanted to go). Also saw a couple stupid emails about sex/drinking. No surprises, but just further reinforced how dishonest he has been.

I really do think I'm better off moving on...I have a sense of piece when he's not home and when we aren't in contact.

I sent him the following email.

"If you want to be here next week, that'd be fine. You could sleep in the guest bedroom or with one of the kids.

I do really need to move on with my life at this point. I can't live like this anymore and I'm happier being alone than dealing with you and the drama.

You can do what you want, but wouldn't it be easier just to rent a place here for awhile until you figure out more of what you want to do? I think the kids will be happy wherever you are."