I am done being the only one working on this marriage. I am done being the only one trying to change. YOU have done nothing to work on our relationship. You have done nothing but hurt me and ignore my feelings. It feels so good to finally be able to say that I am worth more today than the way you treat me and talk to me. That's why I am not giving you the phone number yet. I will not be called names and will no longer tolerate your verbal abuse. The bottom line for us is that I tried and you didn't . You are still selfish and self centered....it's all about Paul. I kissed your ass for months...for what? So that you could hurt me worse? So that you could leave me and Dillon stranded with no money? You are a cold, cruel man and I see no chance of you changing. It's over for me unless you make some big changes and I don't see you as capable of doing that. You can't even communicate. You are a cop out artist. You say the same lame lines all the time to avoid having to face the truth and admit any faults or wrong doing on your part. But I forgot...you don't lie and you are perfect ...right, Paul? Well....draw up your idea of a fair settlement and let's get on with moving on with our lives cause I am so over you it's not funny.
Gosh feels totally like what I want to say to my h. But all the verbage would be lost on him since he can only think about what he wants.
Your challenge may be better served waiting him out to see what he does. Unless of course you have really had enough....then I'd advise you to file to get the child support you need.
Don't give in to reacting. Even if you don't want the m, pushing him to react may cause him to do something you'll regret.
All I can tell you from my experience, is do not let this stand in the way of what you have been doing.
It is a very difficult time as I have been there. You want to get bitter and you want to get angry because you don't understand why. HB explained to me that when they are going through MLC, they have to change something in order to finish going through this. They will either quit their job, divorce their wife or do something else drastic.
This does not mean that it is the end of things. It just means that you are going to be starting a new journey and learning more things. Yes, it is very difficult and it hurts, but this I can tell you that the harder you fight him against everything the harder the changes are going to be and the harder it will be to work things out with him.
He may have been trying to get his feelings back or trying to figure things out for himself during the time that he has been trying to reconnect with you, but something inside of him wasn't changing. He still has all those feelings inside and it has nothing to do with you.
Although people maybe telling him that it does. They maybe telling him all kinds of things that you are not hearing yourself. I know that people do that because all they are trying to do is get the MLCer to feel better. So they are telling him that he needs to do this or that in order to get through this and to get past everything.
It can also be the guilt that he is feeling on the inside for what he has done to you. There are so many reasons and you don't know them because he hasn't really discussed them with you at this time.
You can drag your feet if you think that it will be the best thing for you to do in order to give him more time. All I can really tell you, is to really seek the Lord on the course of action that you should take. Be very careful about getting bitter and thinking that it is over because those thoughts will race through your head. They did mine many times over, but he Lord kept telling me to stop looking at the circumstances and keep looking to him for the answer.
He still cares about you, that is evident, but there is so much more that is going on inside of him that you don't know about. I will definitely keep you in my prayers because I know what a difficult time this is for you and how hard this path is when you are placed on it.
I decided a 180 was more in order. Let him decide what he wants to do...he can change or divorce me...I'm up for either...but I'm not up for doing all the work anymore on my own. I deserve better.
That is definitely a 180 for me. I have been taking his crap for so long...it's his turn to do some changing...or not. I don't care either way...but something's got to give.
I'm all for 180's....did you SEND that letter/e-mail yet?
If not, why not let a few old hands here take a shot at editing it some to convey the same message with a tad less venom.
IF that is you actually hope in some part of your heart that he just MIGHT wake up, smell the coffee and start doing some 180's of his own.
You see, the way you put some things would make it HARDER for him to choose that option. Your anger is valid! ...but should it get in the way of a possible reconcilliation?
...but should it get in the way of a possible reconcilliation?