thank you everyone...I think ive calmed down. Im not going to let my self obsess over this until Monday. Im letting it go until Sat. and then I will sit and get all my info together and write my thoughts down and prepare for my meeting with L on Monday.
Im not mentioning anything to S15 until it is forced on me about talking to the judge, Im not going to let him abuse un mentally anymore...He can live with his crap and im continueing to get on with my life and have a loving stable relationship with my boys.

thank you for all the support today...i really needed it to get to were I am now....

Me:48 H:42
M: 18 yrs.
S: 9/1/09 due to alcoholic H
D bomb: 9/9/11
OW confirmed 10/30/11
D papers filed 11/01/11
S15 S21(Special needs) S28

Look to yourself, It is there that all your answers are found...