Stronger

[mishka422]

Each day I feel a little stronger. It's a daily battle with myself but I'm more at peace with my situation than I have been in the last couple of years.

Spring has definitely sprung here in the Southeast. The pollen count yesterday beat the all time Georgia record. It was 9,367! High is anything over 500 and extreme is anything over 1500. They don't know what to call 9,367!!! Thank heavens for my netti pot is all I can say!

With spring comes new challenges for myself. I have been in extreme cocoon and hibernation mode for several months now and couldn't motivate myself to do anything much. I would go on halfhearted short walks. That is about it. This last weekend Gabe, Marc, and I decided to push ourselves and get more fit. Gabe signed himself and Marc up for my gym so we can now go all together or separately. I also told him there will be no more pasta or rice for a while but I've already fallen off the rice wagon. It's hard to fill up a 17 year old on only fish and vegetables. It's brown rice but still....my body doesn't do very well with carbs and I know it. I limit it to 1/2 cup. We'll see if that is good enough.

There are plenty of moments in a day that I think, "Why am I so miserable?" and then I just brush it off and go on. It comes out of nowhere and it frustrates me. What I would love to say is, "Why am I bubbling over with happiness?" Well....a girl can dream can't she? LOL

Heck, part of it is probably the fact that I'm going to be 41 next month (eek!) and I still feel like I have no direction. Gees, shouldn't a woman my age have a danged goal in mind?