She asked me yesterday how I could love someone as crazy as her. I simply told her that I loved her in good and in bad times which is how I feel. I wanted to say that I love her unconditionnaly but ultimately my actions will speak louder than words.
Sad, (hey, you gotta change that username, dude -- pick something stronger!)
Next time she says something like this, try saying "Yes, this has been difficult on all of us." Something non-committal; neutral. Your response was a bit pursuing. WE hear ourselves saying "I still love you!", but in their current state, THEY hear us saying "I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU, OR CONSIDERING YOUR CURRENT FEELINGS. I STILL LOVE YOU, DAMMIT, AND YOU NEED TO LOVE ME, TOO!"
LOVE is unconditional. RELATIONSHIPS -- especially married relationships -- are very much conditional, and there's nothing that says we have to (or even should) respond to a spouse's unfaithfulness or walk-away'dness with our unconditional love, trust and support. Our spouses begin to value us when we learn to better value ourselves -- and no sooner.
