All Let's not forget that Navy is active duty, and a flag officers aid. Any suggestion of an OW would definitely hurt his career. His boss may relieve him of his duty as soon as any hint of impropriety arises.
On the other hand....
I think navy needs to cultivate the skills and looks to be able to pull other women. Dress better, work more on specific muscle groups, be more charming and comfortably talk to other women by yourself and around W. Make her aware that you have the skills to snag an OW, but don't let her have an inch to stand on with allegations.
In my case it took buckling down and completely opening the door for my W to come around. W almost walked out a couple of times too. Each time I let her, it was gut wrenching, but W needed to feel she was with me out of choice not because I somehow co-opted her into it.
I recommend a mature game of tit for tat. If she's nice, be nice if she's cruel, then call her out and create distance. Notice I call it mature since you shouldn't do childish things like screaming or playing silly accusation games. Just tell her you disagree and walk away.
I really think you only stand to gain from playing hard ball with her. At worse she'll walk (which I think some of us here think that's not necessarily bad). At best she'll maybe snap out of it. Call her bluff. Really do it.
It's leadership 101 people hate to be forced into anything, so don't force her to stay.
