2 quick notes. First with re to how you see your behavior when first apart vs how she sees it...
1) there are two+ ways to view your behavior, and most people's...I recall thinking you sounded too angry at times, so she probably picked up on THAT b/c it also validated her choice to leave. I thought she was legally entitled to half the furniture so it was horrid to me that she'd leave with the clothes on her back and yes it seemed punitive to me. Sorry but that is how it struck me then. My real point is that I do NOT believe it is humanly possible to review and see your marital history the same...ever...
Two witnesses to car crashes don't often agree.
You are both heavily invested in how you view your marriage AND a lot rides on it -- but you see the world thru very different lenses...
for the most part you prefer HER LENSE b/c you get all negative (which is draining on spouses, btw)...so it's hard for you to see how the over views things.
It will help you both when you can better empathize as you go along, but as for the past... Let go of the past. Agree on today and "from this day forward", not the past...
the only value the past has for you now is 1) loving memories that resurface
and 2) hard earned lessons for you now.
Second, the IVF...
gabby's got a point. I am a tad curious what her plan is but I don't sense a "plan"...
but
I do sense a woman who believes she has only ONE more shot at being a mother.
That's a tough position to be in. Tread carefully.
Be upbeat & positive about it, since you would love it
under the right, loving solid circumstances that you two CAN create together..
.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
