So last night my husband came home and was very pleasant. He was fixing the garage door opener and asked me to give him a hand. Normally I am somewhat put out by his requests because I am helping the kids with homework or making dinner or cleaning, but I am trying to do 180s so I agreed to help even though I am out of my element in that stuff. He thanked me for helping him and I went back into the house to finish dinner.
After dinner, we sat with the kids and watched movies and it felt like old times. We were laughing, enjoying our children. Another 180 I am using is my husband says I yell too much and get too angry. I am working on not raising my voice when the kids get out of hand. NOT easy to do, but I am managing.
When I got to bed H tells me he knows I am concerned that I won't find a place in my price range and was telling me how he found a 3-bedroom, 2-bath condo that I would be able to afford. That stung. I just said thanks for letting me know and didn't say anything else.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
if you have been served and he's "negotiating" with you at home, please sign NOTHING and see a L asap.
Like I said, you need DO nothing. But you need information from a lawyer there. it's clear you believe he's having an affair, and this MAY be relevant to the L.
It may be part of why his offer to you SEEMS "generous". Keep what you know to yourself for now.
See a L and find out your rights so you will make choices based on actual fact and not "hoping" that the support he says he'll send is enough...
and what happens after they leave the house? You are on your own? Are you staying at home with them now?
May I assume there's a disparity in income between what he earns and what you earn?
20k per year for CS may sound great. I am not sure it is. Don't know his income level and I would
bet a lot that he's looked into the finances of this already. So he is at an advantage.
Why'd his first m end? Just curious...and I am confused about what his problems are that you are referring to.
Is he getting "help" for something or not?
Keep posting and if you can, keep it in one place b/c I feel I'm missing pieces.
But this is NOT hopeless. Far from it!
Have you gotten the Div Remedy book yet?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I haven't signed anything but he wants to avoid using lawyers but have seen two and am planning on getting a third opinion. My mother has loaned me the money for the retainer.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
I do work full time but my job is very flexible and I work a 37-1/2 hour week while my husband works 50+ hours per week. His income is almost 2.5 times what mine is. He offered the 20,000 which is about 20% cs and also offered to take on all the marital debt.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
His first marriage ended in divorce after about 2 years. They were too Young and from what I understand they got married because his ex was expecting. The past year has been full of turmoil for him and he explained to me that he had an emotional breakdown and feels nothing for me anymore. He needs to talk to someone about that but I know he refuses and I cannot force the issue with him.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
He has been through the child support courts before with his previous wife so he thinks he knows how the courts work. He is currently "helping" me look for affordable places in my price range. I wish he would just leave me alone. I think he's trying to be helpful in his own way but it just is like a knife stabbing me in the heart.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
