So Monday's case of the Monday's drug into Tuesday morning, but I was feeling better by noon. I've been staying productive at work even though I don't like my job. I've recommitted to finding something better.
We had dinner tonight again. About the same as last week, but my wife and I talked about a local news item--there was a shooting in town, and we were discussing it in front of my d. by spelling out the word shooting. It was kind of cute the way we were discussing it. obviously, it would have been better to havd different subject matter, but so be it.
I wonder if it's possible for her to use subtle tests on me. Maybe that's what the cancelling of that credit card was about--I don't know if anyone has ever experienced subtle testing.
Again, we talked about our house, and how she'd like us to get it on the market by the end of April, or as soon as possible. I don't know what that's about--I guess I would like to sell the house too. Perhaps I should ask her though, why she wants to sell it so quickly.
I wanted to ask her about when her lease is up, but didn't. I think I'll wait two more weeks to do that.
I was more relaxed tonight, and I think I was being funnier because of it, I think she was fighting back some laughs a little--but she's still guarding herself.
I got to her place, just when they got home, and she was seemingly overburdened, with lunch boxes, purses, etc. etc.
I offered to help her take a few of the bags, I had an empty hand, but she refused--I offered a second time, and she refused again---I didn't go for a third offer, and she seemed to manage it ok.
She get's cranky when she's hungry, so that may have been part of it. after dinner, she lightened up a little bit. So overall it was a good night.
I'm going to ask to have dinner maybe next Tuesday...maybe we can make it a little tradition. I apologized for my calling her last night, acknowledging that it was a bad time. She said it was definitely a bad time, but didn't say much other than that.
She did tell me however that she'd gotten a promotion at work. I congratulated her, but she said it was not really a big deal, and it seemed to come with a lot of extra stress.
Tonight I got home, I sat and meditated for about five minutes, I was just using positive visualization to imagine her coming back home, to imagine her hugging me. To imagine her saying she still loves me and that she wants to make it work. I'm taking any negative thoughts that come up and am visualizing just throwing them in a big bonfire.
I'm still very optimistic that this will work--just staying positively focused is key.
"Things are never bad; it's the way you think about them." -Epictetus
