Yes, I've been seeing a T weekly since October. And yes, I'm aware of how inappropriate both the violence and the drinking was. My T didn't.... condone it... however she also didn't express a whole lot of concern over it. I'm not that concerned over it either. But that was the first time ever I've drank and drank and drank for the sole purpose of not feeling anything anymore. Also the first time I've ever physically attacked someone.
The last 10 days have been terrible. I found out on Monday I had a nasty case of the flu (I guess good for H... I knew I felt weak when I was attacking him, but I chalked it up to mental anguish). Despite the fact that I was really ill, I still had to pack up my house. And take care of my 10 month old. So that was fun, packing, child care, and the flu.
I was still so exhausted yesterday that I was only able to work half a day yesterday. D stays with my grandparents during the day, and they continued to take care of her while I slept in another room. I was passed out for almost 6 hours.
H left for Cali on Sunday afternoon and will be back tomorrow morning. My phone has been having connectivity issues, so I called our carrier to figure out what's going on. We tried some troubleshooting that didn't require account access (it's in H's name), but we got nowhere. They told me they couldn't do anything else about it without having account access.
Given all the BS H has put me through, especially lately, I assumed that he would give me the pin code to the account.
H wouldn't.
I was furious. He tried everything to resolve the issue for me without giving me access to the account.
Extremely long story short, he tried to throw out every crap excuse out there to not give me the account, to try to make me look bad, to try to get out of the argument and to... in essence, threaten me (so what are you going to do if I don't give it to you?). I called his crap on every excuse and told him it was all ridiculous.
I still never got the code. I got a lot of crap apologies. He swears that he'll open the account for me when he comes home tomorrow and we can go over the call records together.
I want him to give up control. I'm so tired of it. I'm tired of bending over backwards and him getting all of the say so.
