Well given my thread is going to lock up anytime now I thought I'd start a new one.
I decided to add the (and other things) because, well other things come up!
Right now Im having one of those moments where my head still spins a bit, and Im curious what other people think. I realize that right now Im grinding on things that I really need to let go of and not bother thinking about them anymore. I've generally done a good job of this, but this one thing just keeps popping up in my mind.
I still can't get it out of my mind how H said to me that he felt horribly abandoned and alone by me, put on the back burner, unloved and unwanted.
Now. How does one feel unloved and unwanted, when your wife makes a point of asking you how your day was and really does want to know? How does one feel unloved and unwanted when your wife comes and scratches your back and offers to rub it on a consistent basis because it hurts after a long day of work? How does one feel unloved and unwanted when your wife consistently asks what you'd like for dinner, or asks your opinion on something, or tells you about her day? How does one feel unloved and unwanted when your wife gives you compliments and flirts with you? Tries to initiate sex? How does one feel abandoned and alone when your wife shows a consistent general interest in you?
You know the only thing I can think of is he spent so much time reading my emails to friends and family about how upset I was at time or problems that we had, that instead of stepping up to the plate and confronting me about his spying and what he discovered ( which he did after he left)he kept it secret and it turned to poison?
I realized my wrong doing was not confronting him in many things. But I became accustomed to him either avoiding it at every cost or snapping at me. So I shut down too.
I know I need to let this go, but man it bothers me. I just can't see the logic in sitting there telling me I treat him like he's invisible when, he's the one that did everything to avoid me and quality time. Gaming 18 hours a day? Sleeping all day and working all night? Working opposite shifts so we never see eachother, then purposely freezing me out?
To me I see nothing but projection. He was gone way before he was gone and completely in the OW grasp I guess.
